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Stand Clear September 6, 2009

Posted by projectabsurd in Stick Figures.
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This  is one of our favorites Рanother stick figure warning. This one is on the dumpster outside our apartment building:

standclear

Seriously – you wouldn’t want a dumpster to be dropped on your head. Was this really a problem? How come we haven’t heard about the rash of dumpster-related concussions, contusions and deaths that surely resulted in this warning label? Also, it is “unlawful to remove or deface this label.” I want to see the guy in jail for tearing the label on accident when he threw out his couch. Yawn. This is lame – sorry. -K

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Dog Waste September 6, 2009

Posted by projectabsurd in Stick Figures.
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Now I have seen the stickman of road signs do everything!¬†This picture was taken just outside our apartment complex in the children’s park area:

dogwaste

Let’s break this down, shall we?

1. “DOG WASTE IS A THREAT TO THE HEALTH OF OUR CHILDREN” – WHAT?!? Clearly this park isn’t interesting enough if the kids are playing in dog poo. Were they rolling in it? Eating it? How about watching your daft offspring and teaching them playing in sh.t isn’t the way to be popular?! Ok, moving on…

2. “…DEGRADES OUR TOWN” – Were there heaps and heaps of this stuff around at some point? Enough that people could see it from the street while taking a Sunday afternoon drive? Were people talking about all the poo in our town behind our backs? Oh, the shame!

3. “…TRANSMITS DISEASE” – Again, these people are overly concerned with community members touching or playing with dog doo. Who are these people? Was this really an issue at some point?

4. “LEASH CURB AND CLEAN UP AFTER YOUR DOG” – There must be some sort of punctuation mark missing here. Why on earth would I want to leash the curb? What good would that do?

5. THE PICTURE Are there really people out there whose understanding of the sign is better enhanced with this artist’s rendering of a stick figure picking up dog poo? Is it really necessary? If one couldn’t read, would they honestly understand all the demands of this sign by looking at this simple picture? Going by the picture alone one could be encouraged to grab a shovel and play in poo, really. Why is it in Stick Figure Sign Land no one’s head is attached to their body? Why is it a dog (having all four paws and a snout) looks more like an actual dog than a person (sans hands, feet or nose) looks like an actual person? In Stick Figure Sign Land people have shovels and leashes protruding from their arm stumps. And why does it look like the dog pooped out a small flying bird?!

IN CONCLUSION: This is a sign tailor-made by The Absurd, for The Absurd! Honestly – wouldn’t this sign have worked just as well saying “Required by law: Leash, Curb, and Clean up after your dog” – with no artist’s rendering?! Well, at least you look at it this way, I suppose – if only to laugh! -K

Watch Your Step! September 6, 2009

Posted by projectabsurd in Stick Figures.
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This sign I saw when we were at a local Valvoline getting the oil changed in our car. It cracked me up completely, so I was forced to sneak a picture of it (which is blurry because the flash was off):

watchyourstep

For those who don’t know – when getting a professional oil change there is a wide open space in the floor under the car. The open space is the length and width of a standard compact car. There are usually two or three of these at every oil-change venue and this sign refers to them. Honestly, I think there’s some kind of rubber netting they put across the opening when there is no car over it – to break a fall just in case. So, I don’t think it would necessarily be as colossal a fall as they suggest here (well, unless someone forgot to put the netting across – *cue diabolical laughter*). Something about the way the stick figure man’s arms and legs are flailed about as he pitches ass-over-tea-kettle into the opening just slays me every time! You can almost see his face and hear him screech in fright! (*Giggle*) – K